I can't even possibly begin to describe all the emotions that I'm currently feeling. Overwhelmed, stressed, anxiety would only name a few.
As many of you know, the girls and I have left Canadian. We have moved out of our school house and are currently stationed at our in-laws house while they are away for the summer on harvest. As appreciative I am of this ever so generous offer- it's tough. I don't like living in someone elses home, using someone else's things- mainly kitchen speaking. I also hate the feeling of being a bum. While everyone knows this is so not the case; it still feels like we are somewhat bums!
We are currently waiting on Jeremy's grandmother to make take the final steps of her decision to move to a retirement center. If she does this, she is wanting us to buy her house. How I'd love to get an apartment or a rent house for the time being- but if we are talking 2 months or less in a time frame- not many landlords would be so generous of allowing a 2 month lease. So- this seemed to be our safest route of living.
I was just about at my wits end Friday afternoon. I needed my ice cream freezer, which I swear I left out of the storage section of packing and brought it here; yet nowhere to be found. So I then changed my mind from taking ice- cream to a friends house to a homemade pan of brownies and picking up a gallon of blue-bell to go on top! I get started in the kitchen (after just using vegetable oil last week, brand new bottle) and the vegetable oil is nowhere to be found. I finally wigged out on my husband. I told him how hard this was to live in someone else's home.
What people don't realize is that although this is just a very short temporary stay- the same was for our house in Canadian that the school gave us. I have been without a family home for over a year now and I am crawling in my seat. I am so ready to just have a "home". While we are enjoying every aspect of our in-laws home, it still isn't ours. My girls love playing in the yard every morning and every evening. They love the huge drive way that they spent hours on riding bicycles, scooters, and play toys. We can take wagon rides, daily, around the neighborhood because it's a very nice neighborhood, trustworthy people, PAVED roads, and no annoying trains. (It's the little things!)
As I have been very, VERY unhappy with this temporary "squat" to say; God grabbed me this morning....... read this:
July 14
Keep walking with me along the path I have chosen for you. your desire to live close to me is a delight to my heart. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain. The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak. someday you will dance light-footed on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy. (VERY HEAVY CURRENTLY) All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to my hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of Life.
Ok, God. You got me!
This whole process hasn't been easy, but I am very thankful for my devotional. Just as soon as I lose all hope and am on the brink of giving up; God has just the right words for me. Pray for me, friends, that we can get under a roof as a family soon and we can begin to unpack and start creating our home again. Jeremy lacks 2-3 weeks in Canadian before he will begin with Baker. I have a workshop to complete this week and then the classroom transformation begins!
