Beginning......

I can't even possibly begin to describe all the emotions that I'm currently feeling. Overwhelmed, stressed, anxiety would only name a few.

As many of you know, the girls and I have left Canadian. We have moved out of our school house and are currently stationed at our in-laws house while they are away for the summer on harvest. As appreciative I am of this ever so generous offer- it's tough. I don't like living in someone elses home, using someone else's things- mainly kitchen speaking. I also hate the feeling of being a bum. While everyone knows this is so not the case; it still feels like we are somewhat bums! 

We are currently waiting on Jeremy's grandmother to make take the final steps of her decision to move to a retirement center. If she does this, she is wanting us to buy her house. How I'd love to get an apartment or a rent house for the time being- but if we are talking 2 months or less in a time frame- not many landlords would be so generous of allowing a 2 month lease. So- this seemed to be our safest route of living.

I was just about at my wits end Friday afternoon. I needed my ice cream freezer, which I swear I left out of the storage section of packing and brought it here; yet nowhere to be found. So I then changed my mind from taking ice- cream to a friends house to a homemade pan of brownies and picking up a gallon of blue-bell to go on top! I get started in the kitchen (after just using vegetable oil last week, brand new bottle) and the vegetable oil is nowhere to be found. I finally wigged out on my husband. I told him how hard this was to live in someone else's home.

What people don't realize is that although this is just a very short temporary stay- the same was for our house in Canadian that the school gave us. I have been without a family home for over a year now and I am crawling in my seat. I am so ready to just have a "home". While we are enjoying every aspect of our in-laws home, it still isn't ours. My girls love playing in the yard every morning and every evening. They love the huge drive way that they spent hours on riding bicycles, scooters, and play toys. We can take wagon rides, daily, around the neighborhood because it's a very nice neighborhood, trustworthy people, PAVED roads, and no annoying trains. (It's the little things!)

As I have been very, VERY unhappy with this temporary "squat" to say; God grabbed me this morning....... read this:

July 14
Keep walking with me along the path I have chosen for you. your desire to live close to me is a delight to my heart. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain. The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak. someday you will dance light-footed on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy. (VERY HEAVY CURRENTLY) All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to my hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of Life.

Ok, God. You got me!

This whole process hasn't been easy, but I am very thankful for my devotional. Just as soon as I lose all hope and am on the brink of giving up; God has just the right words for me. Pray for me, friends, that we can get under a roof as a family soon and we can begin to unpack and start creating our home again. Jeremy lacks 2-3 weeks in Canadian before he will begin with Baker. I have a workshop to complete this week and then the classroom transformation begins!

PACKING!

Packing, Packing, and MORE Packing!!! Urgh! Feels like I just did this yesterday!

Until the packing and move is finished, I'll be away from the blogging world!!!

As for July- looks like we are squatting at the in-law's casa and will be moving to KC in August!

Fun times ahead!

I caught a glimpse of a mother and son riding bikes yesterday across from the school (as I was dismissing my summer school students) and it brought such joy to my heart. FINALLY- We get to do this now. We get to have a family friendly safe neighborhood that we can ride bikes as a family. We can go for walks, we can have friends over, and all the other goodies that goes along with living in a wonderful neighborhood. I'm getting excited!!!!!!!!!!

Now if I only knew where my classroom was or what grade I would be teaching...........

Another door....

Well, the door for me has been completely flung open. To the point that, even with there being no current opening at that school, the school board approved hiring me and adding a position if necesary! Speculations have it that there will be a position for me, in time, but as of now there isn't.

We are still so torn. We go from here, to there, to here, to there, constantly, multiple times, daily.

What is suppose to be one of the easiest decisions that we thought, is turned out to be the hardest one.

This decision is huge. It affects our life. It affects our family. It affects our children's education.

I'd love to give more details; but until we decide either here or there- there really isn't any point in that.

D-Day is at the latest- Friday. HOPEFULLY today!

Knots........

For the past week now, I've had horrible sharp stomach pains. I'm pretty sure we can all sum that up to one thing- STRESS!!

Summer school is in full swing, and I LOVE it! I know I'm going to love that extra paycheck, even more! It goes by super fast- it's still allowing my girls their structured morning at their school, and also giving them time with friends!

I've never been more torn, more stressed in my entire life over a decision. I feel as if Jeremy will make his decision today, since the corporate office called yesterday leaving a voicemail with the official offer. The offer is the exact same as he is making here, then all the added benefits. They offered him exactly what he said he would be willing to go for.

As for me and my job; that's very debatable at this point. There has been a door slightly cracked open- but nothing has been completely opened yet. I never thought this was going to come so soon and there is still lots of decisions to be made. Housing, start dates, resignations, etc. So, as always- continue to lift us up in prayer as we feel that God is calling Jeremy to this job.

I finally his my breaking point last night. There's just something about your momma that can get it out of you and you can finally release everything that you feel. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cuss, I wished I had never ever came here this past year. I have experienced the absolute most wonderful work place with the most professional boss. Just like kids crave structure- I crave professionalism. It was wonderful to dress up, every day. Not one day were jeans and t-shirts worn; jogging suits; sweatpants; etc. I'm a firm believer in - how you dress- impacts your day at work. You dress up- you step up. You dress down- your work goes down. For once in the past 6 years- I was never angry from February through April because I wanted to kill someone over TAKS/STAAR. I also never once came home mad, angry, upset, or wished I didn' thave to go to work the next day. I cried in  May because it was coming to an end and I wasn't ready. I love this place.

Little did I know; that God would come knocking.

People are going to talk, brainstorm, and create their own stories; regardless. Make it known that I am not a failure and neither is my husband. He has topped off his salary here- and he is just now 30. What he is going to there is his beginning pay- and is a promotable position with guranteed raises. You always have to look up and keep pressing forward in our opinions. Neither of us agree that he wasn't going to go any further professionally here. I just wish I could move my job-  there.

My devotional this morning though said" I am creating something new in you: a bubbling spring of Joy that spills over into others' lives. Do not mistake this Joy for your own or try to take credit for it in anyway. Instead, watch in delight as My spirit flows through you to bless others. Let yourself become a reservoir of the Spirit's fruit. Your part is to live close to Me, open to ALL that I am doing in you. Don't try to control the streaming of my Spirit through you. Just keep focusing on Me as we walk through this day together. Enjoy my presence, which permeates you with Love, joy and peace!"

So, God is creating. He is either creating me something that I have no idea about; or he's creating a new attitude in me that needs to change before this move takes place. I have to place my trust in him that he knows what he is doing and has something even greater for me in store.

Pray for peace my friends!

Tomorrow....

Tomorrow will answer many questions for our family. We should know more as to what our future holds, hopefully. I can say that Jeremy has an interview tomorrow, which is/was very VERY unexpected. We received a phone call at 10:30 pm last Tuesday regarding a job offer. As for the job/location, I feel the need to keep that private at this point. The job has mega benefits that include medical, dental, vision, orthodontic, plus a 401K and a pension. He also would get 10 paid holidays, plus 2 weeks paid vacation and a guaranteed raise every year. So, the benefits are far greater than his current job, yet the pay is very debatable. Like I said, we will know more tomorrow; hopefully.

My hope and trust is in the Lord. He knows the plans that he has for us. If this doesn't work out, he has lost nothing. He still has his current job. We both feel with the benefits that are on the table and if the pay is comparable- then we had to at least pursue it. If this doesn't work out- then we know that god has his plan of keeping Jeremy at his job and me at mine. (And I am t-totally a-ok with that!)

Please raise us up in prayers and ask God to show us his will so that Jeremy is able to make this decision, with no regrets.

Dear Lord........

My heart is so heavy and so filled with worry, all I simply know how to do is pray.....

Dear Lord,
You are the way, the truth and the life. You are the alpha and the omega. You made a promise to me through scripture last May that you knew the plans you had for me and would make straight my path. This road has been a smooth road, minus a few housing bumps. You have blessed me abundantly with a workplace that I admire with greatness. You have blessed our family by being able to be together, every night, for my family suppers. You have graciously given us Wendy, Jimmy, and Kimberly and we are forever grateful for their friendships. You are know throwing us a curve ball, and opening a door that neither of us expected. Our jaws are on the floor; the wind is still knocked out of us. You've given us a fork, and we aren't sure of your plan. Your timing in some ways seems so perfect; yet a bit confusing after a big change last May. Lord, help us to both place our trust in you. Give us the faith to stay strong and to see your plan for our family. Help me Lord, to be the wife that can submit to her husband as he leads his family in this decision. Happiness comes from within, and you have made me happy in every workplace I have ever been. Help me trust in you in knowing that you will take care of our family and do what is for the good and future for our family. Lord, my husband is torn. He is hurting. Please open his eyes to see your will for him and make this decision an easy one. Let us have zero regrets and know that we will never look back and wish we would have chosen a different path. You are our way, our truth, and our life. We give you our whole hearts Lord. You have never given us more than we can handle and your goodness always shows in the end. Please show us your way.
In your precious name,
Amen.


My friends,
Life is at an extreme high. I would love to share so many details right now, but there are so many what if's at this point that nothing is too clear. I promise to make things clearer soon. More than anything; my husband needs prayers. I am resting my peace in the bible knowing that I should submit to my husband and his authority. He is the head of our household and this decision has to be made by him. As I prayed above, happiness is a choice you make- no matter where you are. You either make the best of something; or it becomes to best of you. Please, my friends, lift our family, and even moreso Jeremy up in your prayers. He is so torn, confused, and in shock.

My Summer Outlook..........

GEEZE LOUISE! My summer is booking up/filling up quite fast! With 3 weddings to attend, husband birthday, summer school, swimming lessons,  and VBS- I am beginning to wonder if I'll ever even get time to take a trip with my family! Speaking of trips, where are you going this summer? Do you have anything excited for you and yours, or your entire family!?

I'm still debating on what we are going to do. I say a Disney Cruise, my husband says we can cruise to Galveston in our own car. So- yup! That pretty much sums up our differences in vacations!!!!

I'm trying to find a good, fun, relaxing trip, that won't cost a fortune this year. We are definitely wanting to save for a house; guess I should say ANOTHER house since we already own one in Munday. On the other hand- I want it to be absolutely  if you have any ideas/suggestions....feel free to pass them along!!!!!