Success!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths"

Proverbs 3:5-6

As many of you know, my school year started out with a much slump in my attitude. I was slapped in the face last summer with a big dose of rejection. I had truly never faced rejection as hard as I did for that situation. I felt worthless and unimportant. I felt that I was a horrible teacher and wasn't up to par to teach anymore. It was one of the hardest, most difficult times I had to face with myself. It was hard to go to the grocery store, post office, dollar store, etc just because I felt as if everyone in this town had labeled me with the same labels I had given myself. Not everyone in the public eye knew the dirty deal I was handed, but I knew there was a reason I had to go through that very situation. I finally one day, opened up my bible and just said "Lord-- I'm tired of feeling this way!" As I began reading....the above verse stuck with me. It's been my motivation from that day on. I knew that after dealing with that difficult situation, that something good and the understanding of why would come out of it, I just never knew when or what it would be.

It's been a hard past 10 months, with a very stressful class and load to handle. After 6 weeks of being completely stressed at work and at home since Jeremy was in Montana, on the Canadian border.... I also started to notice my frustrations being taken out on my child at home in the evenings. Everything was bothering me, I was an emotional basket case, and I wasn't being the loving, fun mother that I had aspired to be. So, I resorted to medication for OCD and what a lifesaver it became. I no longer felt worthless; I felt like a wonderful mother, wife, and teacher again. Lots of people are against medication, but I say that they make it for a reason, and it helped me wonders! But, along came another pregnancy, and I went off the medicine cold turkey. I still had no husband at home, still the stressful class, a terrible two toddler, and now hormone rages! But-- looking back I see that God handled it all for me. He wrapped his loving arms around our family and took care of us. God has been there for Jaylee and I this entire school year. Not many can deal with a husband being gone all week long, but somehow-- we made it. This is just part of my success out of rejection story....


So today came along and I knew that it was a day that probably wouldn't turn out well being that it was Monday morning, and knowing that Sunday night was the night that TAKS scores would be sent out. But I just told myself that no matter the outcome, I was still a good teacher and life would con tine to go on. My boss stopped by my classroom during our lunch session and said "I have your TAKS scores and they are AWESOME- AS ALWAYS!" I told her to "quit lying" because we had both prepared ourselves for the absolute worse this year. However, as I glanced at all the yeses and the few nos..... all I could do is remember that verse from back in August....... wow! He sure did show me the path..... he showed me today that I am still a good teacher, despite whoever thought this summer that I wasn't. I succeeded this year with 90% passing and 47% achieving Commended Performance (for those of you not familiar with standardized testing--commended performance is only achieved by missing 2 or less questions)! All day long, I have been so thankful and blessed for God showing me his path. He intended for me to continue teaching, whether it's here, there or Timbuktu! He showed me that something good truly does come out of something bad, it just takes some time to understand and realize. So I'll end today, with another favorite verse of mine....

"Give thanks to the LORD for he is good, his love endures forever" 1 Chronicles 16:34